Dream Repeat

In my dreams I find fulfillment
for all the things I wish for others:
consensus for some,
catharsis for others,
hope and healing grief,
sugar-free food for my granmum,
or a vacation for a tired friend.

My own dream vacations however,
never take me anywhere
because I always seem to miss the boat,
the bus or the car.
I can't ever manage get onto the train
that will take me there
because the ticket booth can't print my ticket for me,
or won't accept my fare.

Sitting at the edge of my bed,
watching the train hoot away below,
I say resolutely to my heart
that I cannot live my life for others
If I don't live it first for myself,
but then in a disbelieving flight of fancy,
I break my promises instead.